Ranting Rand Paul

Those who are employed in the ever-shrinking private sector look with disdain at the typical government worker. They enjoy inflated salaries, extended benefits, time off for every holiday. There are even discussions in some states about getting Ground Hog’s Day off (hyperbolic license invoked here). No stress and most importantly no real service or products produced. Cost of living increases are automatic, unlike the private sector where increases are measured in performance tied to profitability. No such burdens in the public sector.

 And when public employees are called upon to actually do something it usually results in an item in a monologue on a late night TV show. We’ve seen how the Affordable Care Act portal is functioning. Hey, the jokes write themselves.

One such staff is under scrutiny now. And the fact that it works for a Tea Party favorite has supplied additional fuel to the controversy.

Rand Paul was recently taken to task for lifting parts of a  speech from Wikipedia. Although taking personal responsibility, his staff, like many others, serve as a buffer in the government sector. They insulate their bosses from awkward situations, impaling themselves on the sword instead of the person whose name is on the door of the big office.

 A typical senate staff is comprised of 34 members. You would think that ample to research and write a short speech, report or position paper. Apparently not. And Sen. Paul, a White House hopeful in 2016, was made to look foolish having to explain the happenstance. Justifiably, he was taken to task by the liberal media led by Rachel Maddow.

According to a senior advisor, the senator’s opinions and ideas are his own, but there are staff members he has relied on in the past to provide supporting facts and anecdotes — some of which were not clearly sourced or vetted properly.

When I heard that I thought of pizza cartons and half finished bottles of beer and a group of staffers sitting around a table to decide which “anecdotes” to use for the senator’s upcoming appearances.

Staffer 1:“What about  the one about that old catfish Mike that old codger told us about in Lexington last year?”

Staffer 2: “Does Rand even like fishing?”

Staffer3: What does it matter? It’s the story of steadfast striving to achieve. It fits all his policy initiatives and I think it would really resonate with the folks at that manufacturing plant. A lot of factory workers fish.”

Staffer 2: “Wait, wait. I got it. What about the a story of the senator working part-time in high school to save enough money to buy that ’60 Chevy. Then he could say  he washed and waxed that sucker  every weekend.”

Staffer 1: “Sucker, yes. Perfect .That fits nicely with his position on personal responsibility. But did he really have a part-time job in high school? Or a Chevy?”

Staffer 3: “Didn’t everyone?”

Staffer 2: “I guess. But shouldn’t we run it by Rand?”

Staffer 1: “I think he’s in there with Doug and Gail working on his weekly op-ed piece for the Washington Times and ways to embarrass Gov. Christie.”

Staffer 2: “ He’s too busy. Let’s not bother him. We’ll ask him tomorrow. Anybody want another piece of pizza.”